Every Other Night
by cosmicaddress
Summary: "I don't always relate to other people my age, except when I'm on the stage..." Christine Canigula has always had a hard time with her peers. Dealing with the aftermath of the Squip isn't exactly easy for her. Snapshot chapters of Christine and the other characters for some good 'ol post-Squip healing.
1. Chapter One

**(A/N) yay my first multichapter fic! this is gonna be stagedorks but christine-centric. warning that it does contain some spoilers from the new nyc production.**

 **as always, i do not own bmc or its characters, or some of this dialogue. i only own this plot.**

 **enjoy!**

Christine was sitting in her bedroom alone, like any other Friday night. The only times she didn't do this were on show nights, and even that was because her peers were all obligated to be there. She tried not to think about it, but, laying back on her bed, listening to musical cast recordings, it was hard to ignore the lack of another presence.

High school had been hard for her so far.

She had never really had that "best friend" that everyone else seemed to. Her classmates always had one person that they would partner up with, whether it be for field trips, or projects, or just hanging out. Sure, people talked to her in all of those situations, but she didn't even have a group she belonged to to eat lunch with. That had never made sense to her, even if she was a bit dorky and a theater geek, it wasn't like nobody else was, either.

She was different, somehow, though. She didn't think she really liked that, not when she had to face it every day. She didn't really mind showing all her quirks off or anything, but it was hard when nobody seemed to actually try to get to know her beyond them.

The past couple months were when it really hit Christine.

It was Jake, asking her out and ultimately dumping her for Chloe. He had seemed so genuine, which had made her feel strangely accepted for the first time beyond being some acquaintance. The way he had talked to her, the way he acted, all of it made her believe that she could actually be normal, if he was into her. There were moments of doubt, yes, but he seemed to try to counter those. Then he was suddenly the opposite, which was like a punch to the gut. It shattered every new perception she had built up over the months. She still didn't know what to feel about him aside from anger. He had never really tried to fix it. They simply weren't Romeo and Juliet, so apparently they weren't going to get a final scene together.

It was Chloe, making snide remarks about Jake. Obviously Christine had always known that Chloe could be, and was, a bitch. Everybody knew that, everybody said it. But that didn't stop Christine from feeling completely steamrolled every time Chloe felt the need to come over and comment on her life, all because of some strange relationship she had with Jake. The two of them really had some problems. She didn't even really care at this point whatever Chloe was trying to do on Halloween. She just wanted to understand the other girl and why she was the way she was. She couldn't even bring herself to expect an apology, not from Chloe Valentine.

It was Brooke, always agreeing with whatever Chloe decided, even if she wasn't that mean herself. Christine didn't really blame her, not directly, but Chloe's will wasn't complete reign over Brooke's actions. She had never understood why the other girl was friends with Chloe. Christine felt bad for her, really, because she didn't see what they had as a real friendship. At least, not one she was looking for. She didn't even know if Brooke was really okay, seeing as she seemed to only "make up" with Chloe when their Squips made them.

It was Rich, who was mean to anyone he didn't deem cool, though that situation wasn't really clear to her yet. He had never done anything to Christine personally, and she still didn't know if it was really him. It had been a few weeks since Halloween and just one since the play, and she hadn't heard anything. She just felt bad that she and Jeremy had laughed at him when they could have helped. All she knew was that everyone missed school for a week and Rich's condition hadn't been updated. Not that anyone would go to her with those updates, but people liked to talk.

It was Jenna, who only seemed to care about gossip. Christine thought that, anyway. The other girl reported on everything, as if it were her sole function in life. Christine didn't really know Jenna, though, so she wasn't sure. She did seem to be with the rest of that crowd, though they weren't the only ones who made her realize what she had.

It was Michael, who was always alone after Jeremy took the Squip, who never tried to bond with anyone else, who never needed to. She wished she could be like him, that she could be fine and aloof and uncaring without anyone by her side. She didn't know for sure if that was how he saw his situation, but she wanted to at least seem okay herself. It didn't matter, anyway, because he probably had his best friend back by now.

And it was Jeremy.

Christine didn't even know where to begin with Jeremy. First, he had simply been a new person to talk to during rehearsal, and then more of a friend. Maybe, in that period, she was looking for someone to fill that role. After all, she was actually falling for a guy for the first time. While she loved unconventional stories, she also a sucker for generic ones where the girl has friends to gush to who can help her. She supposed she had subconsciously chosen Jeremy for that role. It had worked, for a bit at least.

Until Jake had to be Jake and Jeremy had to become a different Jeremy. Halloween was a weird time for them, and she didn't even know how to talk to him after that. It was the transition from him being a friend to someone interested in her that threw her off. They interacted afterwards, but it was a change from before. Then, the night of the play, the whole Squip incident happened.

She did remember how it felt. Even after seeing everything it was doing, she didn't know if she could blame anyone for wanting that.

She just wanted things to be easier, to be accepted as herself and for that to be enough. For her interests and hard work to be seen as Christine, the friend, not merely the classmate. To know who exactly Christine was, and to know what she wanted.

She flopped over on her bed, unable to sit still and simply think about it anymore. She thought these things every time she showed up to school, and more now than ever because of everything that had happened. It wasn't enjoyable, she needed a distraction.

As always, that distraction was Christine desperately searching for a bootleg on her phone, then giving up and rereading one of her favorite books.

The thoughts were back as she fell asleep. She couldn't stop them.

* * *

It was Monday the next week, and Christine had to go back to school. She wasn't sure how she felt about today — she knew from some text a classmate had sent while asking about homework that Jeremy and Rich were supposed to be coming back.

All of the school's attention would be on them, and perhaps even her, if anyone could figure out what had happened at the play. Chloe had been telling people that they had all done ecstasy together. Christine didn't even know if Chloe herself knew what had happened. Sure, Christine had already known what Squips were, but maybe Chloe, Brooke, Jake, and Jenna didn't know what was going on. No one had disputed the ecstasy story so far, but Christine didn't really like being thought of as a druggie, and she knew Jeremy wouldn't either. Rich was a wild card.

That morning was a quiet one. Ever since she had gotten her license, nobody else needed to wake up for her to go to school, so her parents chose not to. She didn't mind, relishing in the silence and isolation she had for the first hour of her day. She could dance and quietly sing along to the soundtrack of Waitress playing in her ears without disturbance, anyway.

The drive was similar, only she was able to blast her music and full-out perform instead.

She chose to put her earbuds back in for the whole walk to first period. She felt like people's eyes were on her the whole way, but she didn't want to look and draw attention to herself. That was now only comfortable when she was playing someone else for them to see, since for some reason the real her had never been enough for anyone. At least, it hadn't been for Jake, who didn't notice the one thing she thought could connect them, and it hadn't been for Jeremy, since he seemed to think she needed something to make her better. It had never been enough for anyone else besides those two to talk to her outside of school beyond homework. That wasn't going to change now.

Classes were quiet that day, save the occasional whispers she caught about Jeremy and Rich. Christine didn't have any classes with them, so there weren't many, but she heard a few, some of them even from her acquaintances she talked to sometimes.

"They all did ecstasy together, yeah."

"What a bunch of theater stereotypes, they're going nowhere."

"He went completely insane, no wonder there even are stereotypes."

"Just a bunch of assholes, all of them."

Luckily, she didn't have any group work that day. She was silent and didn't raise her hand, just quietly worked on whatever the teachers handed out and didn't talk to anyone.

Third period was probably the worst as it was English, meaning everyone in it was a junior and therefore the most comments were made there. There were also people looking at her more, most likely because everyone knew she was the theater girl. She slipped out of third period quickly.

It was lunch period. As always, she stopped in the cafeteria to eat. She ate quickly, like usual — no need to be noticed as a loner without anyone to eat with. She glanced around, wondering why it had to be this way.

Her eyes landed on a group of five people. Jeremy, Jake, Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna were all standing around and sitting at a table. She didn't really understand why. Had Jenna ever really been a part of that group beforehand? Was the whole situation between Chloe, Brooke, and Jake already solved?

Jeremy looked nervous as ever, well, nervous as he was at that first day of play rehearsal. Christine let a small smile slide onto her face at that memory.

It slipped in the next few seconds. She had known that nothing would be better simply because the popular kids decided to do the play. In fact, she rather felt like things might have turned out worse.

Jake caught her eye and looked as though he might have something to say to her. The others began to turn to see what he was looking at.

She gathered up her stuff and threw her trash out, rushing out of the cafeteria and toward the drama room. This was where she always went during lunch to get away from everyone. Mr. Reyes always went to the teacher's lounge anyway.

Her earbuds were back in, and her book was in her lap as she sat back in one of the chairs. Looking around, she felt some despair at the empty room. Why couldn't she relate to other people her age when she wasn't performing? She knew the others would just come up to her with some half-hearted apology and then go back to not really being friends with her like before, and she'd be alone again.

"Hey," A voice made her turn back to the door. It was Jeremy, who seemed very unsure of whatever he was here for. He should be, Christine thought. She couldn't exactly blame him for the Squip, but that didn't excuse what he had said to her. "So—"

"I still remember how it felt," Christine interrupted him, feeling the need to say something about it, to not leave it up in the air. She hadn't had anyone to talk to about it yet.

"What?" Jeremy's face scrunched up. It was almost cute, if what Christine had to say hadn't felt so urgent.

"It was like you said," She continued, her gaze dropping down and then back up. She fidgeted with her shirt, tucking her hair behind her ears just so her hands would have something to do. "Like I'd never have to...not know...anything again. Who did yours look like?"

"Keanu Reeves," Jeremy answered, his cheeks tinged with pink. "Yours?"

"Ruth Bader-Ginsburg," Christine answered sheepishly, fiddling with her shirt again. Her thoughts were turning back to the Squip. "It's embarrassing..."

"Actually, that one's pretty good," Jeremy smiled at her, but she didn't smile back.

She wasn't finished. "...to find out, deep down, I just want things to be easy."

"Yeah, but...who wants things to be hard?" Jeremy replied, giving her a sympathetic look. He suddenly seemed way more nervous than before. "Look, I ruined the play. I almost destroyed the school, maybe all human civilization. I know that the last thing I deserve is another shot. But I...uh..."

"Just say what's on your mind, Jeremy," Christine reassured him. He shouldn't be scared to talk to her. If anything, he needed to actually talk about how he felt, or they'd never get over what he had said before.

"Lunch? Just the two of us," Jeremy asked, his brows rising with worry. Now Christine grinned at him. It was a start.

"Yeah, Jeremy, I'd like that." Christine replied shyly. Even with all that had happened, she was still a teenage girl who had finally realized what she wanted, and here was life throwing her a shot at it.

Jeremy tentatively stepped closer, breath caught in his throat. He gently grabbed her by the waist, pulling her towards him, and, in the next second, his lips were on hers.

Christine pulled back out of surprise, just for a moment, and then leant back in. She smiled again as their lips met.

Then the bell rang, and it almost felt like a strange dream as she rushed off to history.

* * *

Getting home that day was different.

Well, not physically — Christine drove home as usual, blasting and screaming along to She Used to Be Mine. She may have been putting more emotion into it than normal, but that was just how she was feeling today.

Emotionally was different. Jake and the others from lunch, as well as Rich, were in the student parking lot as she passed through on the way to her car. One of them called her name, but she had had the foresight to put her earbuds in before leaving fourth period. She simply ignored them and pulled out as soon as she got in her car.

Christine was still baffled. Not only were there people at school who apparently wanted to talk to her, but she had agreed to go on a date with Jeremy.

She had to admit that she liked him, there was no doubt in her mind about that. They had kissed earlier, and she had liked it.

But they still needed to get to know each other, outside of the Squip's influence. Jeremy had seemed like more of a dork the first time they met than at any other time, and he had that same energy today. Maybe that was why she was so comfortable with the kiss so soon. She knew they needed to talk first. The thought of jumping to a relationship so soon would actually make her feel a bit uncomfortable if they didn't get everything out in the open first. Even if they weren't technically boyfriend and girlfriend yet, they had a date, and they both wanted it. Hopefully it would go well.

Hopefully Jake and the others would perhaps try to be less like jerks and more like friends. Not that she necessarily wanted to be friends with all of them, but she needed to know that they wouldn't treat her the way they did before, and that none of it was because of who she was.

Christine hoped that all of this would happen. She also hoped that the voice in her head telling her that it wouldn't was wrong.

She still felt like she would be sitting by herself every weekend like every other night.


	2. Chapter Two

**(A/N)**

 **it DEFINITELY has NOT been seventeen whole ass months since i updated this...what are you talking about...shut up.**

 **in all seriousness, it DID take me seventeen months to write this chapter. i think i wrote like maybe a third of it after the first one, and then i lost steam. cue me writing a few hundred words every few weeks (sometimes with breaks of months in between...oops). i got it done though! hip hip hooray!**

 **life updates: since publishing the first chapter, i have realized and embraced the fact that i am 100% bisexual :) i have a huge crush on a girl who i think may be straight but also she has these rainbow shoes that i swear are gay af so i am very confused. lmao why is this so hard. we played paranoia at a christmas party with a bunch of people who are in band (i am the only one not in band) and she was next to me and she literally asked me who in the room i would most want to date. i chickened out and said i would be uncomfortable answering until she asked me something else, perks of not really knowing the people at the party. there were three reasons i didn't want to answer: one, two guys in the room had asked me out in the past couple months and i rejected both of them and didn't want to say who i'd rather date than them in front of them, two, none of the guys would be genuine answers and that leaves me saying a girl and i didn't want to come out as bi in front of people i had only met like twice when i haven't told most people i'm actually close to yet, and three, while my crush was all "it's only a 50/50 chance they find out!", i wanted to scream, "no, it's 100% chance because my answer is YOU!" anyways later someone asked her the same question and she said a guy's name and the question got revealed and i wanted to die but also i was relieved that i hadn't had the guts to answer the question myself earlier if she actually likes this dude. so.**

 **sorry i am a bi disaster and needed to vent and have not released a chapter of anything in WAY too long so that i can dump my life on people.**

 **ANYWAYS, please enjoy this!**

"Christine!" Jeremy was waving at her eagerly from his locker the moment she stepped around the corner. She snorted at his excitement.

She knew that this had to be what a real first relationship was supposed to feel like. Maybe she had liked Jake a bit, even if his lack of theater knowledge miffed her a little at first. She was still flustered when he talked to her. But he had sort of tricked her into hanging out at the mall, which she ended up enjoying, but would have been too worried about seeming rude if she hadn't to say no.

Then there was when he led her on. It wasn't terrible the first time, as Jake had a reputation. It was when he came back as if he cared and made them official that got to her. That night when she went over to his house wasn't the worst, but he seemed to move a bit too quickly for her. She left after giving him a smile and hug rather than a kiss.

After that was all downhill. He never really tried to get to know her, despite what he had said he wanted to do that first day in the mall. Halloween was the biggest pitfall. First it was Jake not realizing that her princess costume was her Juliet dress. That hit her hard, because it made her doubt why he was even into her. What hit her harder was the thought that he wasn't at all.

The point was that she never truly felt like they were dating. It was just a couple moments of Jake acting sweet and in between not really trying. She never felt the desire to text or call him about nothing, or ask to do anything.

She felt like it would be different with Jeremy. For one thing, she could see how much of a dork he was. How likable he was when he wasn't trying to be what he thought others would like.

"Christine?" Jeremy lightly waved his hand again. She realized that she had taken a few steps towards him on autopilot until she was right next to him and gotten lost in thought. She gave him an apologetic grin as she returned the wave. "So, um...I kind of realized that I asked you out to lunch, only we have school every day before Saturday, so we won't really have time to go out for lunch very soon. Unless you wanted to wait! That's totally fine, I guess. We'll have more time to talk by waiting. Or maybe you only agreed because you thought we'd attempt to rush for fast food during lunch? That's fine too, I guess, I just thought maybe it'd be a more traditional date, but whatever you want is okay..."

"Jeremy," Christine raised her eyebrows at him and shook her head, laughing lightly. This was the weirdo who had caught her eye. She couldn't really blame his nerves, because she was a bit flustered herself, but he was completely overthinking this. He really didn't need to. "We're going out for what could be a date, of course waiting until Saturday is alright with me. I think we'll need the time to talk anyways."

"Oh, um, exactly, that's what I wanted, too!" Jeremy replied sheepishly, a smile on his face. There was the dorkish response she was looking for. He leant against the locker for a moment before moving back to his original position when he stumbled. "So, um, I was actually wondering how you're doing? I know we don't have any classes together so I didn't see you much, but you seemed a bit quieter than usual yesterday."

That was true. It was true during class with all the whispers around her, but he didn't know that.

Obviously Jeremy couldn't know how the drama room wasn't too uncommon of a place to eat lunch for her, but she was usually a bit less reserved and more social when she could be. Something that she strived to make easier, so she took every opportunity. Usually it was just somebody asking about class, but she tried not to seem too lonely by simply taking out her homework in the library and being productive during the other students' social hour.

He must have noticed when Jake had looked over at her during lunch and she rushed off. That must have been how he knew where to find her, although she supposed it was also a bit of a predictable place for her to be found at any time.

"I'm fine, really," Christine responded softly, letting her eyes trail to the floor for a moment before bringing them back up to meet Jeremy's. He still seemed concerned. "Well, everything's different now, isn't it? I don't think it can return to what it was before all of this started."

"You don't think what can return to what it was?" Jeremy questioned, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"Me," Christine answered bluntly. It was a bit difficult to be the same when her perceptions of everyone else had changed. "Us. You know, the first time I met you, I thought you were cute. You're different now, a good different, because I think you're more comfortable with yourself, if that makes sense? In between, though, even if there were times that I liked you, like at Halloween, everything was still shifting around us. It's probably not going to shift back."

"Oh, I, um…" Jeremy suddenly looked upset, and nervous again, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm really sorry, I know you said at Halloween that you were still figuring things out, and you weren't ready, and if you felt at all pressured to say yes yesterday, it's okay if you want to say no now. I shouldn't have—"

"No, Jeremy," Christine interrupted, forcing his attention to turn to her rather than his worries. "I wouldn't have said yes if I hadn't wanted to. I think I still need to figure things out, but not by myself anymore. With you."

"Oh, of course," Jeremy smiled again and then turned suddenly as the bell rang. The students around them began moving. "Time for first period, I've got environmental science. What do you have?"

"It's called Cultural Media Literacy, my teacher created the class for our school," Christine nodded her head toward the stairwell. "We're both going upstairs, walk with me?"

Jeremy nodded in response and they began their walk to class. He seemed to relax a bit. Christine felt that he had needed to talk about what they just had as much as she had. She was glad that they were beginning to clear things up.

They were at the top of the stairs when Jeremy tentatively slid his hand into hers. Christine paused for a moment before squeezing it and letting go. Jeremy glanced over at her for a second but didn't say anything.

They reached her classroom first. She had just entered when Jeremy called her name.

"Christine?" Jeremy said. She turned around, and he gave a small wave. She waved back. "Um, have a nice day."

"You too," Christine smiled and headed into class. He turned and went down the hall to his own.

She was still smiling softly when the bell rang for class to start.

* * *

This was the routine for the next few days. Christine would meet Jeremy at his locker, and they would talk for a bit before walking to class together.

For a couple days it was just them, although Michael joined them later in the week on the days when he was able to drive Jeremy. He usually had his headphones over his ears and didn't really listen to the other two. Christine figured he wasn't a morning person.

Jeremy was cute. This week, he had reminded her of those few moments when she had let herself begin to really like him, especially after the first time they met. He was different then. She wondered how things would have gone if he had never gotten the Squip in the first place. Would he have still felt too nervous to say anything to her? Or would she have actually realized she liked Jeremy and said something rather than being infatuated with Jake?

Speak of the devil, because that was exactly who was walking towards them down the hall at the same time as that thought.

Jake locked eyes with her and paused for a second, facing her and Jeremy. His mouth opened as if he were about to say something. Christine felt her shoulders tense up. She wasn't the only one to notice — Jeremy drew her a bit closer to himself by placing his arm on her backpack. She let him, just for a moment, just until Jake left.

"Are you and Jake okay?" Jeremy asked after a minute, retracting his arm from her general area. She smiled at his concerns, both about Jake and her personal space. "I mean, I know you kind of ignored him at lunch on Monday, so…"

"Not really, no," Christine admitted, tilting her head. She almost thought she saw Michael turn back towards them, ever so slightly. "Can we just say that the Squip didn't control every hurtful action for the past couple months? Just for now?"

"Yeah, of course," Jeremy grabbed and squeezed her hand, then let go. She held that hand with her other one. The people around them slowly began to drift away since the bell was going to ring soon. "So, I have a test in first period today, and I'm a bit terrified. I completely did not understand this unit."

"Well, I don't know anything about environmental science," Christine replied with sympathy. She preferred other areas of science — she wasn't really looking forward to environmental science second semester because she got a super strict teacher. Still, Jeremy had already been dealing with her since August. "But I know that you're going to do your best, and that you're amazing. Don't doubt yourself. Just do what you can and you'll be great."

She had to admit, it was pretty solid advice. If only she could learn to take it herself.

"Thanks, Christine," Jeremy replied, smiling at her. He turned so that Michael was more included in the conversation. "That really means a lot. Way more than the person who told me that if I knew I was doomed, to just roll with it."

"Come on, Jere, that was a joke and you know it," Michael rolled his eyes at Jeremy's accusatory gaze. His eyes softened for a moment before returning to the same annoyance. He was pretty good at that teasing act. "But you know that I still stand by the fact that you can't stress yourself out about these things. Seriously, you've been getting just as anxious over tests as you have over her." He nodded his head toward Christine.

"Michael!" Jeremy hissed, whacking his friend on the arm. Christine laughed a little as Michael rubbed his arm where Jeremy hit him.

"Don't worry, Jeremy," Christine said, giggling at how he was blushing. He was one pale boy, that was for sure. "If anything, knowing that just makes me like you more. But really, Michael's right. You shouldn't worry that much about anything, especially not me."

It was silent, just for a moment. Obviously not in the loud hallway of highschoolers, but in their small group. Michael was looking at her, although Christine couldn't really decipher what exactly he was thinking about. She looked back at Jeremy.

There was a sense of calm in him that she hadn't ever seen before. His shoulders seemed narrower, somehow, even though he had always been skinny. She guessed that they had dropped in relief of some sort. It upset her to even think about how anxious he got over everything. She couldn't imagine what it was like.

He was looking into her eyes, however, with not an ounce of anxiety or worry. He looked grateful. For what, she wasn't entirely sure, but she knew that something important had just passed between them. She smiled, and he smiled back.

"So now that we have your mid-morning crisis out of the way, we need to talk about what a travesty my life is," Christine broke the silence, causing Jeremy to knit his eyebrows in confusion. She internally snorted at his expression, but moved on quickly so that he wouldn't be left thinking something serious was wrong. Well, it was serious to her, but that was beside the point. "Mr. Reyes still hasn't said whether or not we're doing the spring show."

"Oh my god, Christine, I'm so sorry, that's all my fault..." Jeremy began, trailing off into a devastated mumble. He was staring at the ground. "If I hadn't ruined the play..."

What an idiot.

"Jeremy!" Christine said exasperatedly, her tone bringing his eyes back up to meet hers. She raised her eyebrows at him. His face grew red. "For the last time, I'm not complaining about you every time I'm complaining about something. I'm just an extremely impatient person and it gets really bad when I know that it's been long enough for a patient person to have gotten annoyed. Besides, I think the play was doomed when Mr. Reyes made it about zombies rather than the masterpiece that was the original Shakespeare play."

"Yeah, I guess it kinda was," Jeremy snorted lightly, the red fading from his cheeks. "I'm sure that's not what he intended."

"You know, I actually read this thing once, where people talked about how certain things about his plays were never specified," Christine recalled a Tumblr post she had seen once, most likely during one of the times when she was scrolling through her phone at home. "So, since he never specifically described some fights, you could make the characters do a dance battle, or throw forks at each other, or something like that. I do think you weren't supposed to change the script, though."

"The only thing that really made it work was the Squip, I guess," Jeremy gave a sad smile, but didn't seem too upset for once. Christine figured that maybe today was just a good day for him. "You said it yourself, Michael, it was way too good for a school play, right?"

"Can we just accept that that play could never have succeeded and move on?" Michael interrupted, his hands sliding his headphones up over his ears again. He moved down the hall. "Scratch that. Bell's about to ring, I'm off to class."

"See you later!" Jeremy called after Michael, but he didn't respond. Jeremy frowned for a moment, and looked back at Christine. He quickly shook it off. "Ready for class?"

"Yep, I actually really like Cultural Media Literacy," Christine replied as they walked down the hall. "I have a great teacher, and we learn all about media and the influence it has on us. It's super fun, you should try to take it next year."

Jeremy was listening intently, gazing at her as she spoke. They walked up the stairs, Christine internally smiling at his concentrated expression. This was nice.

Michael's words rang true, as the the first bell rang just as the two of them got to the top of the main staircase. They rushed a bit more, as, opposed to Christine's nearby classroom, Jeremy had to go to the other end of the floor.

"See you later, Jeremy!" Christine waved as she darted into class. "Good luck on your test!"

* * *

"Oh my god," Christine said after rushing over to the table in the corner of the cafeteria where Michael and Jeremy sat. Well, Jeremy seemed to be using the table as a full body support system, as his forehead was pressed against its surface. At least he had the foresight to lay out a napkin over the germs first. She nodded her head towards Jeremy and addressed Michael. "What's up with him?"

"He's convinced that failed his test," Michael rolled his eyes, supporting his chin with his arm as he leaned forward. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Spoiler alert: he probably didn't. He does this after every test."

"I do not!" Jeremy shot up suddenly, only looking mildly embarrassed. His disagreement with Michael appeared to take precedence over his posture. "I'm just saying that I didn't entirely know the answer to some of the open ended questions, and so I had to draw a bunch of random things together, and I don't know if I was right."

"So what?" Michael shrugged, taking another sip from his slushie. Christine had no idea how he managed to get one this early into the lunch period. "I bullshit my way through every test, usually ends up working. Don't really care about the details."

"Yeah, well, I do!" Jeremy exclaimed abruptly, stabbing his plastic fork into his fruit cup. The prongs bent. "Sorry, it's just, I really want to get everything right."

"I know you do, Jere," Michael responded after a moment. "But that's not healthy. You have to let yourself make mistakes sometimes."

"Why do you want to get everything right so much, anyway?" Christine asked. "You don't need to get an A on everything to succeed in life. I don't even think I'll use most of this stuff as an actress."

"I guess it's just different for me," Jeremy replied, visibly calming. He took a bite of his green beans. "I kind of overthink everything, if you hadn't noticed. And I think I might want to be an elementary school teacher someday, so I want to be the best example."

Christine smiled at that image. Jeremy would make a wonderful teacher. She began imagining him dealing with a class of eight-year-olds. It was amusing, but she knew he could do it.

As she was thinking, Jeremy and Michael began talking about Apocalypse of the Damned. She tuned them out and let her eyes wander around the cafeteria.

She paused on the same table from Monday, where Jake and the others had been. He was there now, and Jenna, Rich, Chloe, and Brooke were just arriving. Rich sat on the end and side opposite Jake, with Brooke on his right. Jenna sat between Jake and Chloe.

That was all strange — why wouldn't Rich and Jake want to sit together, or even Brooke and Chloe? They looked like they were okay yesterday, but today the only conversation Brooke and Rich were in was with Jenna.

Maybe Christine and Jeremy weren't the only ones with lingering problems from the Squip.

Speaking of that, Michael brought her out of her thoughts when he suddenly stood and left the cafeteria. She turned to watch him in confusion, then looked back at Jeremy.

"Wait, what just happened?" Christine questioned in concern. Jeremy looked a bit upset, but quickly seemed to brighten up.

"Oh, nothing," Jeremy said, flashing a quick smile. He glanced back at the cafeteria doors one more time. "Michael just asked me if we could play video games tomorrow, but we have our lunch date, remember?"

"Yeah, we do," Christine answered, slightly nervous now. "I can pick you up, if you want. Where are we going?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," Jeremy began gathering his trash together and swung his backpack over his shoulders. "I gotta head to human geography to make some work up, but I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Wait, Jeremy, where are we going?" Christine called after him. He turned back just before he reached the doors.

"It's a surprise!" Jeremy grinned, and left the cafeteria.

Christine plugged her earbuds in.

* * *

That night was feeling too quiet for her. Things had been picking up that week, hadn't they? She had started meeting up with Jeremy and Michael for lunch, and in the halls. She wasn't always seeking out acquaintances anymore, she was being called by friends.

By someone that was more than a friend. And, for once, that person seemed to be just as nervous about everything as she was. He seemed to actually care just as much, if not more.

But what was really happening? She was sure Michael was only there because of Jeremy, and he didn't even seem like he wanted to be there sometimes. Maybe he just felt obligated to be friendly to his best friend's girlfriend.

Girlfriend. That was another thing. She and Jeremy still hadn't talked much about what they were. In her mind, they were going to lunch, but they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet. This week had been about Jeremy learning that even though he had asked her out, they needed to take time. Hopefully he had learned that, and didn't feel like he had already "earned" Christine.

Hopefully, despite all the horrible things that both he and the Squip did, she wasn't just an objective anymore.

Christine suddenly sat up, abandoning the pillows where her head had just been laying. It was a Friday night, and she was a teenager, goddamnit! She was going to enjoy herself. She could have her own life outside of being alone at home or thinking about and talking to a boy.

Part of her wanted to restrain herself from being so impulsive. The other part of her knew that she needed to just roll with it.

She slipped out of her pajamas and into a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater. Of course, by oversized sweater, she meant a regularly sized sweater that was long on her because she was so small, but it was the end look that mattered. She wanted to be comfortable. She needed to. Before leaving her room, she shrugged on a coat. The bitter November air had been getting to her. She missed the freshness and comfort of early autumn.

Christine called out to her parents that she was going out just as she stepped outside. They had all already had dinner, so she knew it wouldn't matter much that she was leaving. Her parents were very understanding with her. She was lucky in that part of her life, at least.

The crisp air forced her to shove her hands deep into her pockets until she reached her car, which she got into quickly in order to turn on the heat. She sat back for a moment and took a few deep breaths.

Then Christine put the car in reverse and backed out, now driving out of her neighborhood. She didn't really know where she was going, not yet, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she was going somewhere, completely of her own volition.

She took deep breaths as she drove, stretching her neck every now and then. This excursion was an unfamiliar experience for her, and she didn't quite know what would come out of it. Perhaps nothing but the memory. Her shoulders sank from their stiff position as she felt her resolve strengthen. If the memory was all that came out of this, it would be worth it. It would be better than her countless ones of her at home.

Some ten minutes later, Christine found herself in the mall parking lot. She didn't sit in her car once she turned it off, like she usually did, instead stepping out immediately and walking towards the entrance.

Light flooded her senses as she stepped through the doors, out of the dim atmosphere of the parking lot and into a bustling building.

Suddenly the silence she had been in transformed into an atmosphere of euphony, melodious music drifting into her ears from the storefronts and lifting her soul. She was walking within the buzzing of multiple conversations, yet apart from them; but not in the same way as school.

School was an environment of judgement, a constant performance she had to upkeep for people she saw every day, only that performance was being herself and hoping others liked it. Of course, she had settled for being herself no matter what others thought; she only wished that wasn't such a hard decision. She was never included in the real conversations, and that said something at school.

But here, at the mall? Perhaps peers would occasionally be passed by in the food court, but it would be an acknowledging smile and nothing more save the rare comment to a friend the next day of having seen so-and-so outside of school. For the most part, she did not know the people that surrounded her, who she would likely not see again, or at least not often enough to recognize.

The mall was a place of stories. Someone might see her do a little twirl as she walked, and remember her as that happy stranger. It was a performance of herself, but without pressure; she might see someone else blushing next to a date, or drop their food, and they would simply become that person from the mall in her memory. That was what Christine felt in the air tonight — something real.

She rounded a corner and came across an area of square tables, each surrounded by four chairs and with a plant to the side. She glanced over the tile pattern on the floor, her gaze slowing around the space next to the table furthest to the left. The one right next to the pillar she and Jake had been about to walk past. The one where everything had started.

She knew that wasn't it. All of it, every choice made by everyone involved, had been brewing far before Jeremy had done "performance art" on the floor. The performance art that she thought was when Jeremy had changed. That hadn't been it.

She knew that everything in their lives had shaped up to that moment, and it wasn't just Jeremy — it was Rich, and Michael, and even Jake, Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna. All of them had some hand in what had happened, even if their influences varied.

Even her.

Christine paused her walking and took a deep breath. Whatever had been happening in all of their lives that had led up to that moment wasn't over. She could tell that things weren't going to magically be okay just because of a freaky bonding experience. She could tell that things were strained, maybe even worse, between most of them. But she had never felt so sure of herself in any one moment before. She had never felt such an understanding of her life.

So she let out her breath and stepped through the tables to the other side.

And everything was alright. The buzz of the mall flooded back into her ears from where she had tuned it out. People were crowded up ahead near the food court, talking amongst themselves, having a good night. And even if they weren't, even if they were having some problems, they were normal. They were everyday problems, or problems that everyone has at some point in life. No freaky computer messing with everything.

Christine walked past the food court, drifting in the direction of the usual department store she shopped in before another store caught her eye. It was a local thrift store that she had never paid much mind to before, but, through the window, she spied a dress that she absolutely loved. And why not branch out a little? She deserved a shopping spree, one that would make her feel confident. She stepped inside.

She stepped absentmindedly along to the store's music as she thumbed through the hangers, barely paying attention until she came to the dress she had spotted. It certainly wasn't quiet — far from it, in fact, if bright purple and yellow were a fashion statement. But that was exactly what she was looking for. She was just about to pick it up when a set of voices increasing in volume caught her attention.

Brooke and Chloe were just a few rows of racks down, shopping just like her. That is, Brooke had been shopping like her — alone — until Chloe seemed to have stumbled upon her. At least, that's how it looked to Christine, who couldn't help but notice how Brooke intentionally angled herself away from her former best friend.

"Brooke, listen to me," Chloe demanded in a hushed tone, extending her arm in front of the clothes that Brooke was looking at. Brooke turned towards her with a stony gaze. "I don't get what you're so upset about, quit making a scene and just shop with me like normal!"

"Chloe, if you don't get what I'm upset about, you were an even worse friend than I thought," Brooke replied tersely, turning away from Chloe again. "You're definitely not going to fix anything by talking to me like that."

"Talking to you like what?" Chloe asked incredulously, throwing her hands in the air. "Seriously, you're making a big deal out of nothing."

This was when Christine tuned out. Perhaps she would have been interested in listening to their conversation earlier in the year, before everything. But now she felt like people needed their privacy more than ever. To work things out in peace. Any kind of meddling seemed to set people on a track that was hard to divert from, and that track usually had a lot of bumps. The root of the problems between Chloe and Brooke seemed to be of some nature of social status, anyway — introducing herself into the conversation as a peer would only complicate matters, and prevent them from being honest with each other.

Christine slid her fingers along the fabric of the dress and drew it off of the rack, draping it over her arm. Her eyes drifted along the other garments in her size and she soon spotted a mauve denim jacket that she absolutely loved. She smiled as she searched through the other hangers, allowing herself to enjoy the experience rather than focusing on price or practicality or time. This time was being spent on entirely herself. Shopping wasn't good for her wallet, but it definitely was good for her self-esteem. She could already imagine what she would look like in the items she had picked up.

Before she knew it, her arm was full of dresses and shirts and jackets, along with some shorts and a few skirts. She only noticed as she plopped another dress down on her arm and could not see any skin anymore.

She turned her head back to where Chloe and Brooke had been, wondering if perhaps they had seen her yet, but their backs were turned to her as they walked to the back of the store. To the dressing rooms, Christine realized. She should probably try on what she had picked up now. Her arm seemed to agree with her, as she could suddenly feel the indentations that had been imprinted on it by the many hangers.

Her feet led her to where Chloe and Brooke had gone, although there was not much evidence that they were there. If not for the rustling of clothes behind the first curtain, Christine could almost imagine that she was alone, as Chloe and Brooke's conversation seemed to have come to a halt. Really, if Christine hadn't seen them go in, it could have been anybody trying on clothes.

She elected to claim the room on the end, dumping the clothes that she had picked on the small bench to allow her arms to rest for a moment before hanging them up. She had a system when she shopped of leaving one rod open for clothes she decided to keep, and one for clothes she wouldn't.

 _Wow, this was a really good idea_ , Christine thought, the first rod filling up much more than the second. She needed to do things for herself more often. It wasn't like she spent her money on much anyway, so she was allowed to treat herself. Updating her wardrobe was a perfect way to slightly improve her everyday life.

The last item she slipped on was the dress she had seen in the window. It fit like a glove, the skirt perfect for twirling around. Her face broke out into a smile. She felt pretty. She felt confident, and exactly like herself. The dress went onto the first rod.

Christine was just finishing with her pile when she heard someone else shuffle into the dressing room. She poked her head through the curtains to see Jenna struggling to slide the curtains over with all the clothes over her arms.

"Here, let me help," Christine rushed over to slide over the curtains for the other girl. "There you go."

"Oh, thank you!" Jenna flashed a quick smile at Christine before plopping all of the clothes she had collected on the bench. "I didn't mean to carry so much, I just got carried away. I probably would have dropped everything without help."

"Well, I just finished with everything," Christine replied as she retrieved the clothes from her bench. She wiggled her hand through the hangers to wave at Jenna. "See you at school?"

"See you at school," Jenna responded, her grin growing wider. She waved back as Christine walked away.

Christine had paid for her new clothes and was walking back to her car when she stopped to take in the moment. Here she was, in the middle of her junior year, taking a moment for herself. She wasn't worrying about anything or feeling left out.

She needed to take charge of her own happiness more often. She had to start being that happy person she projected to everyone else. Everyone always said that you'd eventually find your people. Well, Christine hadn't exactly found them, but she had found herself. She simply needed to let that stand for itself and connect with the people close to her.

She had been struggling throughout high school to be normal and happy. She acted carefree and cheerful, and not all of it was an act, but enough of it was to the point where she wasn't actually happy. Now was the time to change that.

So, later that night, as she drifted off to sleep, Christine had some thoughts about one Jeremy Heere.

* * *

The next day, Christine swayed nervously in front of her mirror. Her fingers brushed against the hem of the dress she had bought the night before, twisting it into a straightened position.

This wasn't officially a date. It couldn't be, she had to make Jeremy realize that his actions had consequences and that he wouldn't immediately be rewarded. Yet, despite her principles, she was still attracted to him. She had been since he impressed her at play rehearsal. Having principles didn't mean that she couldn't have traditional desires as well. So she wasn't going to deny her feelings, and this decision in turn buzzed her nerves.

What if Jeremy changed his mind? _No, that's ridiculous_ , Christine chastised herself for worrying so much. She knew they both liked each other, this was only a matter of acting upon it.

She slipped on her denim jacket.

At 1:02 PM, Christine was pulling into Jeremy's driveway. After parking her car, she stopped for a moment to plug the aux cord into her phone. Letting one of her daily mixes play, she exited the car and rang the doorbell.

It was a few moments before anything happened. She had just raised her hand to ring it again before she heard a sudden thud next to the door.

"Jeremy?" Christine called out, worried that he had hurt himself. "Jeremy, are you alright?"

The door swung open to reveal a man who clearly was not Jeremy. He was older, wearing formal business clothing, and...strangely similar to Mr. Reyes.

"I'm assuming you're Christine?" The man asked, and she simply nodded. Peering over around him, she didn't see Jeremy yet. "I'm Jeremy's dad."

"Oh!" Christine widened her eyes in recognition, embarrassed that she hadn't realized who he was before. "Hello Mr. Heere, it's so nice to meet you."

"I'm very glad to meet the girl that my son has told me so much about," Mr. Heere responded, a smile growing on his face. "In fact, we were just talking about you. I think he said something about how pretty…"

"DAD!" Jeremy suddenly interrupted, running towards the door. He turned toward Christine for a moment. "Hi, Christine, um, ignore him. I don't talk about you that much, not that you're not worth mentioning, I just mean that I'm not creepily talking about you to my dad. Dad, please stop."

Christine chuckled, shaking her head. This was the Jeremy she liked. The bashful, yet well-meaning geek. Although he could use some self-esteem. "Jeremy, I get it. Thank you."

Jeremy's cheeks tinged pink, but he smiled back at Christine. He stepped through the door to stand next to her.

"Well, kids, please, have fun," Mr. Heere put a hand on their shoulders and lightly pushed them toward Christine's car. "And, if there's any emergency, call me."

"We will, I promise," Jeremy waved at his dad as they began to walk away. "I love you."

"Love you too, son," Mr. Heere watched them for a moment, and then went back inside.

Christine smiled at the interaction, and motioned for Jeremy to get into the car.

* * *

One of her biggest pet peeves was people who talked over her music in the car. When she played her music, she liked to be able to hear it, and she liked for other people to listen to it. When people talked over it, it was like they were dismissing her music taste, and she would miss most of her favorite parts. Then those songs would be stuck in her head all day as she attempted to fill the blanks in her head. It simply worked much better if she could hear her music in the first place.

Most people did not understand this. Her parents wanted her to be social in the car, and not to play it too loud anyway. It frustrated her to no end.

Jeremy, it seemed, did understand. The whole trip, he sat silently, moving his head slightly along to the music. He only spoke a few times to comment on the music.

"Why was that the catchiest song I've ever heard?" Jeremy looked at her with an expression of awe. "Who did you say this was by? Jukebox the Ghost? They're just nice to listen to. I'll have to check them out."

Christine almost forgot to look at the road for a second. She was too busy glancing at Jeremy.

* * *

"Okay, we're in the mall parking lot," Christine parked her car and shifted her body to face Jeremy. "Now where are we going?"

"It's still a surprise," Jeremy grinned, his eyes glinting with mischief. He slowly pulled out a dark piece of fabric.

"What's that supposed to be?" Christine narrowed her eyes. This was going to be the cheesiest thing ever, wasn't it?

"A blindfold, so it's a surprise?" Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks turning red. He squeezed his eyes shut. After a moment, his left eye opened, met her eyes, and closed again.

"You're such a dork," Christine grinned and turned away from him, tucking her hair behind her ears. "That's exactly why I'm here, now get on with it."

Her breath hitched as his fingers brushed her skin, straightening the cloth over her eyes before traveling backwards and tying the ends into a bow. She was entirely in the dark, her only knowledge of where she would be going depending on her trust in Jeremy.

She felt Jeremy's hand brush over the small of her back for a moment before traveling up to lightly grasp her arm, pulling her toward the mall. They stepped through the automatic doors slowly, and a rush of sound suddenly flooded her ears.

Christine raised her hands toward her ears, grazing the fabric of the blindfold. She was suddenly very aware of the people around them and of the fact that she was wearing a blindfold in public. _I need to trust Jeremy, though_ , she reminded herself. _This is definitely not some weird kink_.

She had a vague idea of where they were at the beginning since she knew the entrance, but after that she entirely lost track. She didn't really know the mall well enough to remember since she hardly ever came here, other than last night. They twisted and turned multiple times, presumably because Jeremy was trying to avoid crashing into anyone. If she could see she could probably do a much better job, because they were twisting and turning a _lot_.

Finally, though, they came to a stop. Christine tensed when the hand on her arm disappeared, and she turned her head as if she were looking around despite the fact that she couldn't see.

Suddenly, music flooded her ears, as well as the sound of something being knocked over. The blindfold shifted and then was ripped away, light flashing over her eyes. She stumbled a bit while it faded, and then a smile spread across her face.

Christine glanced around the room at the groups of people laughing as they played their own games, eating cheap snacks while calling out light-hearted insults at each other. The little kids struggled with the weight of the balls, but their parents encouraged them as they watched on fondly. Her eyes made their way back to Jeremy.

He stood right next to her at the entrance, shifting slowly between putting weight on each of his feet. His cheeks had a red tint which stood out in contrast to his pale face. Jeremy gazed directly into Christine's eyes, looking a bit unsure yet still hopeful about the efforts he had made.

"I, um...I hope you like this," Jeremy stammered. "I know I messed up a lot and took you down my own path and caused a lot of destruction, but I want us to end up somewhere good in the end. I led you through a lot of twisted dreams and desires, but, um, I'm trying to dig my way out. I know I'm still just my nerdy self, but I can do this. I can make something good happen, can't I?" His voice tinged with some desperation, but he clearly tried to steady it. "I can do my best to make this right. Obviously you could leave right now if you want, I really would understand, but, um...you'd so miss out on bowling alley performance art, and then I'd be stuck being a loser on my own. Not to call you a loser if you stay! You're totally perfect and amazing in everything you do. Wait...um...yeah. So…" He trailed off and glanced away, evidently worried about her response.

God, he was _such_ a nerd. She could see how that factored into his intelligence, though — he knew exactly what he had done and, despite all of his worries, he had put so much thought into how to spend time with her in a perfectly genuine way. This was the Jeremy she had wanted to get to know.

She looked away from him for a moment and closed her eyes, thinking. Last night had been great, she had taken time for herself and she had gone out instead of doing the same old routine in her room. That had its own value. But now she was here with someone else, someone else who wanted to be out with _her_. She definitely wasn't planning on pinning her value on that, but she knew that she deserved this. She deserved to get this high school experience of close friends and awkward romance, and, in the back of her mind, she knew that she wanted to go through this with Jeremy. This was where things would start being different than every other night and weekend. Christine looked back at Jeremy.

She bit her lip. She was slightly nervous to see where this would go, but grinned.

Okay, _now_ this was a date.

 **(A/N)**

 **ahhhh i love stagedorks SO MUCH and christine finding happiness is all i want in life (being real though, her journey in this is kinda how i've felt this year, having actual friends has made my senior year (!) much more enjoyable than the rest of high school)**

 **real talk time. i honestly don't think i will finish this fic. this chapter obviously leaves room to expand since i was supposed to do a chapter for each character's relationship with christine, but jeremy's the big one and i hope that this chapter gives enough closure so that this story can still stand if i don't end up writing more of it. if i do, i have to admit that it will likely be a long process seeing as it took me nearly a year and a half to write this.**

 **thank you so much for reading this, though! i feel very happy with this fic, as christine and her psyche are very close to my heart and mind. i put a lot of myself into this story, and i hope she comes across as genuine and kind and happy. that's all i want.**

 **please, as always, come scream at me on tumblr sincerelyheere! thank you again, i love this community :)**


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